Matching Night is like taking a pregnancy test

We were originally going to talk about cars tonight but our plan for the blog this week got booted when we received an email this morning telling us it is MATCHING NIGHT!  My heart started beating a little harder and I thought holy cow, we could get a call in the morning that Bethany has matched us with a child! Of course… this is only our first matching night since being LID (see previous blog on the LID process). The only feeling I can put it to is (for women) when you think you might be pregnant. But don’t think so… But convince yourself to take a test anyway.  Remember those 3 minutes of waiting for the line, or circle, or smiley face to change and your heart is racing and you don’t know if you are going to cry or jump for joy... Those few minutes are what I have been feeling all day.  What I know is that we will most likely NOT be matched tonight, but something inside is also saying it could be possible…   

So now that my focus is completely changed for the evening, what I want to do this week is clarify exactly what MATCHING NIGHT is and where referrals come from.  If you haven’t been reading our blog let me also go back and enlighten you what the word referral means. 

What is a referral? This is an orphaned child, who has been matched with your family by Bethany (our agency). 

Where do referrals come from (specifically for the Waiting Child Program in China)? The Waiting child program is a program for children with special needs, healthy children are NOT in this program. Children come from all over China after being placed on a list by the CCCWA.

There are only 2 avenues that our referral can come from:

1.     MATCHING NIGHT- this occurs every 2-3 weeks.  The CCCWA releases new children’s profiles to an online database sometimes called the Shared List.  This list is only accessed by licensed adoption agencies as profiles are released. To put this into perspective, there are thousands of adoption agencies around the world preparing for matching night, making this night very stressful for agencies who are trying to find a profile match for their adoptive families. The whole process occurs at night in our time zone. Files are uploaded and within seconds agencies must “lock in” the files that best fit one of their many families’ requests.  Usually only a few files are locked in at a time and sometimes agencies are unable to make even a single match. Children’s files that are locked in the quickest are usually those with the most reversible disabilities and tend to be on the younger side, while older children and children with downs and cerebral palsy may be on the list for years without ever being locked in for a family.  The children on the list are from orphanages all over China.  Sometimes the ability to get more information on the child can be difficult because there is no direct relationship between the orphanage and the agency.   Some agencies only use this method of matching.

2.     ONE TO ONE Partnerships- This is a partnership between a specific orphanage and a specific agency.  In this partnership the orphanage sends the agency several profiles without any other agency having access to those children.   This type of partnership is more common with larger agencies and is helpful in bringing in a greater number of referrals at one time, more than the 1-2 children they typically get on the shared list.  The orphanages partner with only certain agencies and have a signed contract.  Every contract is different and some agree to send referrals monthly while others less often.  Some agreements also specify that the agency must find a family for every child before they will release any more files.  This can be challenging.  For example, imagine if an orphanage sends the agency 30 referrals at one time.  If 10 children will have minor correctable needs (cleft lip/palate, minor heart defect) and 20 may have more major needs (missing limbs, down syndrome, CP), the first 10 will most likely get placed very quickly.  The 20 with more major needs might take much longer to place.  Not until all 30 children are placed in families will the orphanage release more referrals.  The huge benefit of getting a referral from a one to one partnership is that you frequently will be able to get more pictures and more information than you would if they came from the shared list. 

So as we sit here and stare at what we will call our “blue line”.  We will pray for God’s divine plan, and specifically for the Child that we believe He has already picked out for us before the beginning of time.  John has informed me that we will NOT be staying up all night… oh this is going to be hard for me… and that in the morning we will check the Bethany online portal to see if we have been matched. 

Again, I don’t expect to see a blue line but crazier things have happened! 

Please pray for the Bethany social workers tonight, all of the children who the CCCWA releases to find loving families, and please pray that I don’t lose my mind waiting for the “blue line”.

Laura

LID and conference call update!

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Two major events just happened... on the same day. We had our openness conference call and... We are LID (Logged in Dossier).  8/13/14 will forever be written in our hearts (and in baby China’s scrapbook) as the day our WAIT began. 

So I know many of you are asking………HOW DID THE CONFERENCE CALL GO????  I met John near his work so he wouldn’t have to drive all the way home.  He got into my car about 15 minutes before the phone call began.  We both looked at each other and said at the same time “bathroom break??”  YALL. we were so nervous!!!  After a quick bathroom break we were back in the car ready for the call.  John prayed for us and then we dialed in and waited for 2 Bethany social workers to join the call.  They began by asking us to tell our story….AGAIN.  It never gets old telling what God is doing in our life! 

We then went through the dreaded document (see the previous blog post with the openness form).  Line by line she asked us specific questions about different scenarios. and special needs   She did not have specific children in mind when she would ask us questions, but she wanted to get a really good idea of exactly what we might be expecting in a referral.  I was thankful she was so specific, but honestly John and I struggled to answer many of the questions.  I was glad we were sitting next to each other so we could read each other’s expressions and body language.  For example she asked us when considering children with cardiac problems would we be comfortable with 1-3 surgeries or 4-10 surgeries? Would we be comfortable with a child that couldn’t exert him/herself at all due to cardiac problems, or a child that needed to take a break sometimes while playing? 

The questions continued for 105 minutes!!!  It was intense, but we were glad for each other's support.  My heart hurt after it was over….did we make the right decisions for our family, did we allow our fleshly desires to blur God’s plan for our family???  My thoughts were racing.  I think that hardest thing is knowing that no matter what “disability” our child will have we will be FINE!  God will carry us through.  He might give us a little more than we THINK we can handle but this just means we will need to lean more on God and less on ourselves. 

Isahiah 41:8-10

But you, O Israel, my servant,

Jacob, whom I have chosen,

You descendants of Abraham my friend,

I took you from the ends of the earth,

From its farthest corners I called you.

I said, You are my servant;

I have chosen you and have not rejected you.

So do not fear, for I am with you;

Do not be dismayed, for I am your God.

I will strengthen you and help you;

I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. 

God has brought John and I from the depths and has chosen us for this appointment.  We must trust HIM and not fear! 

Thank you for all of your support and continued prayers. As soon as we hear some news, you will be the first to know.

La

openness conference call

Got some great news this week... We are DTC (Dossier to CHINA).  Meaning all of the paperwork we sent 2 weeks ago went to Washington DC to get Authenticated and went directly from there to CHINA!  We hope to be LID (Logged in Dossier) within the next week.  This is where the CCCWA (China Center for Children’s Welfare and Adoption) puts our information in their online system to be reviewed and translated.  

Our agency has scheduled a conference call with their staff to better get to know our “openness” of different types of special needs so they can match us with a child. ….Meaning we could be matched ANY DAY!  Now in reality it will most likely take 2-6months but ……it's possible to get a call any day. 

Please PRAY for this Conference call on Tuesday August 12 at 2pm.  A good friend is watching the kids and I am driving to John’s work so we can be on the conference call together.  I am so grateful for friends and family who are helping us in every way possible.  We literally would not be able to do this without you!  I know a lot of people have asked us about all the details including how do you pick which special needs you are open to and how does that process work. 

Below I have attached the document that John and I had to comb through and prayerfully mark every need weather we are YES (willing to receive a child with this disability), NO (not comfortable accepting a child with this specific disability or WTD (will to discuss this disability depending on the specific child and severity). Our social worker has told us the conference call usually takes about 2 hours and will go through every need specifically and talk about what we are comfortable with.  The document below is blank……I know you all want to know what kind of child we might get, but I must say it feels a little personal.  I will say that John and I are, according to our social worker, “very open compared to most families”.  I don’t know if this scares me or brings me pure delight.  What we know for sure is that God is in control and we trust that his plan is better than ours.  This document and conference call on Tuesday is one step closer to giving an orphaned child a forever home! 

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CHINA WAITING CHILD PROGRAM:

OPENNESS FORM

Adoptive Father’s Name:  ________________________________________                       

Adoptive Mother’s Name: ________________________________________

Please provide full first and last legal names.  No middle names are needed.

LID:		LID #: (for office use)
AMS Case#:		Family Email:
Family Phone #:		Alternate Phone #:
Branch Office:		Branch Worker:

 I/We give the China Team permission to call any time, day or night. 

We often operate during non-traditional business hours and may need to reach you regarding a referral or potential referral.

Age range in months at referral: _________________           

The China Team will carefully match a referral to your family in the approximate age range you indicate.  This reflects the child’s age at referral, not at placement.  

Gender Preference:

Either

Male

Female

Please check the medical conditions that you are open to considering.  By checking the box, you indicate the completion of in-depth research (discussion with medical professionals, etc.) on that particular medical condition, understanding of the needs of the child short- and long-term, and identification of appropriate local resources.

Indicating “yes” to a particular condition is not an agreement to accept any child with that condition but shows your knowledge of and comfort with that condition and a desire to review referrals of children with that need.  WTD indicates that you are “willing to discuss” the condition during our conference call.  The goal of the conference call is to determine a definite “yes” or “no” based on the information you have and referrals typically seen.

HEART CONDITIONS Families are strongly encouraged to research specific heart conditions and to identify the specific diagnoses to which they may be open.
YES	NO	WTD
			Minor to moderate heart conditions
This category includes referrals of children with ASD, VSD, other single heart-related diagnoses, or who are post-operative for a minor to moderate heart condition.  These conditions tend to require monitoring, medication, or minimal corrective surgery.  The child’s activity is often not significantly limited by this condition.
			Moderate to severe heart conditions
This category includes referrals of children with multiple heart-related diagnoses, more significant diagnoses requiring additional surgeries, or conditions referred to as more complex.  The child’s activity may be limited due to the condition, and the child may require additional therapies to fully function and recover after the procedures.  Some commonly-seen anomalies include TOF (Tetralogy of Fallot), PDA (Patent Ductus Arteriosis), PFO (Patent Foramen Ovale), PVS/AVS (Pulmonary or Aortic Valve Stenosis), single ventricle, and DORV (double outlet right ventricle).
Craniofacial Deformity & other congenital ENT conditions
YES	NO	WTD
			Cleft lip & cleft palate
The majority of referrals we see with Cleft Lip & Cleft Palate are of children with both the lip and palate cleft.  If the child is over 18 months old, we generally see (but not always) the repaired/post-operative lip.  The palate is rarely corrected in China for younger children.  Families need to be open to all ranges of this condition with the understanding that we may not know the exact severity of the cleft until the child is home.
			Other craniofacial deformities, such as facial palsy, Bell’s palsy, nose deformity (separate from cleft lip/palate), dysostosis, etc.
Neurological/Central Nervous System/spinal anomolies These referrals primarily indicate neurological disorders and abnormal MRI/CT scans.  This category is intended for referrals with more significant medical concerns than the expected developmental delays of institutionalized children.
YES	NO	WTD
			Epilepsy
			Hydrocephalus
			Microcephaly
			Brain malformation or disorder
			Schizencephaly
			Low intelligence/IQ
			Cognitive impairments or disabilities
			Learning impairments or disabilities
			Language impairments or disabilities
			Scoliosis
			Paralysis
			Spina bifida/meningocele/myelomeningocele
			Tethered spinal cord/occult spinal dysraphism
			Other:
Skin Conditions These referrals typically include children that are affected on more than 10% of their body surface area.  Depending on the severity, the child may also be impacted orthopedically.
YES	NO	WTD
			Burns and/or scars (not including surgical scars for other diagnoses)
			Nevus (unusually large, raised or hairy)
			Significant birthmarks or skin pigmentation
			Tumor/abscess
			Albinism (often involves ophthalmic or other conditions)
			Epidermis bullosa
			Angioma/hemangioma
			Other:
Orthopedic
YES	NO	WTD
			Club feet
			Club hands
			Missing limb(s)
			Limb deformity/limb affected
Deformity: Limb(s) are physiologically deformed. Affected: Limb(s) are not physiologically deformed but may have restricted or atypical mobility.
			Missing digits (may also include syndactyly-- webbed or fused digits)
			Additional digits/polydactyly
			Rickets
			Joint issues
			Osteogenesis imperfect/brittle bone disease
			Dwarfism or significantly small stature
			Cerebral palsy - physical disability only (may be diagnosed as high or poor muscular tension)
			Other:
Hematic/Blood Conditions or other Infectious Diseases
YES	NO	WTD
			Mild anemia (true anemia, not nutritional anemia)
			Thalassemia/thalassanemia (may require transfusions)
			Hemophilia
			Hepatitis B
			HIV positive/AIDS
			Congenital syphilis
			Other:
Digestive/Intestinal/Excretory System
YES	NO	WTD
			Urinary/fecal incontinence (a medical condition, different from a child that is not toilet-trained)
			Hernia
			Anal atresia/imperforate anus
			Giant/mega colon
			Colostomy use
			Other:
Ophthalmic (Vision)
YES	NO	WTD
			Cataracts
			Glaucoma
			Ptosis/droopy eyelid(s)
			Strabismus/crossed-eye(s)
			Anophthalmos/missing eyeball(s)
			Amblyopia/lazy eye(s)
			Coloboma/hole in the eye
			Microphthalmos/nanophthalmos/small eyeball(s)
			Optic neuropathy/eye atrophy
			Detached retina
			Corneal leukoma
			Partially blind/significant visual impairment
			Fully blind/no vision
			Other:
Hearing
YES	NO	WTD
			Ear deformity (to include no hearing in deformed ear)
			Hearing deficit/impairment, with some hearing
			Moderate to severe hearing loss/hard of hearing
			Profoundly deaf with outer ear deformity
			Profoundly deaf without outer ear deformity
			Non-congenital hearing loss/deafness (may have some speech)
			Other:
Urogenital
YES	NO	WTD
			Undescended testicle(s)/cryptorchidism
			Hypospadias
			Micropenis
			Genital malformation/deformity
			Hermaphrodism/Pseudohermaphrodism
			Other:
developmental disabilities and OTHER DIAGNOSeS/conditions
YES	NO	WTD
			Down syndrome
			Cerebral palsy (may also be diagnosed as cerebral dysplasia, brain paralysis, or brain damage)
			Autism spectrum disorder
			Speech and language disorders
			Severe malnutrition
			Prematurity
			Small size/delayed physical growth
			Other:
undiagnosed conditions with any referral The following conditions can be expected with any institutionalized child but may not be identified as a diagnoses in a child’s referral.  It is important for families to recognize and be prepared for any child to present with the following conditions:  low weight or small size, prematurity, birthmarks, rickets, umbilical hernia, asthma, nutritional deficiencies, institutional anemia, parasites, developmental and global delays, etc.

                                               

 

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