March 17, 2014… This date brings many emotions to mind. I think about a little boy who had lost a mother and father, lost a culture that I can never truly give him. This is the day Theo was abandoned in a market place in China. The day someone close to him put a baby in a tricycle and walked away hoping for a miracle. This is also the day Theo was found. Found by a family that I will forever be grateful for. I wonder what it would have been like to see him there that day, or hear him cry out for someone to comfort him.
Through a series of miraculous events and the amazing tool that Facebook is, 6 months into our adoption process we were sent a gift. We were sent a piece of hope that could one day provide us more information about our child. One day fill in a missing piece of Theo’s figurative heart. There was a video of the news broadcast from that day, March 17, 2014. A video that we would question for months, “is this him?”
It is unclear how old he is in the video, but we think he is only a few weeks old. After our friends translated the broadcast we could see that he was very ill and ended up having open heart surgery a few months later. This husband and wife in the video are the couple who found him near there local food vendor store. On our journey to adopt Theo we took a risk and found and met the couple in the news broadcast through nothing short of a miracle while we were in his Province. The blog post explaining that miraculous day is here:
On that day, we did not have a interpreter with us so google translate was our only tool for communicating what was a very short, but sweet and emotional moment for us all. As the crowd grew larger around us, we decided to say our goodbyes. But it was too short. Walking away I only had two lines of Chinese characters a bystander wrote on a piece of paper in hopes we could contact them again in the future and a few photographs.
Over the past two years I have thought about this family often. Wondering what these missing pieces of Theo’s full story could mean to him someday and how this husband and wife played such a intricate part in ensuring our son’s survival that day. As many of you know life has been a little crazy for us lately, but for some reason this year, Theo’s 3rd birthday and 2nd year anniversary of being a Baumeister, has been very emotional for me. Specifically toward his past and birth origins. I feel the tension of being so grateful for his life, but sadness for his birth family, and a little bit of still figuring it all out. I struggle with the idea that we will never truly know Theo’s real birth date. I think for me the its hard because the birth of my other three children was such a joyous, memorable day that I get to remember every year, and selfishly I wish I could have those memories with him.
Working through many of my emotions, we decided to send a letter to the family that found Theo. The piece of paper I had from our encounter with them in China gave me something like an email address for their oldest son.
You might not realize that in China people don’t have email, Facebook and other social media options due to the strict regulations from the government. In China this is called Policy of Internet Censorship.
This being said the family had given me a “QQ” address. “QQ” is kind of like a social media used in China to communicate. I sent the letter and pictures. After roughly 2 weeks of not hearing anything back I was angry at myself that I had let 2 years go by without reaching out to them.
At the end of February I took my three youngest to the park. I rarely go to the park anymore, but a friend had invited me. It just so happens that there were a lot of people at the park because it was a beautiful day. Nora and Theo were on the tire swing when an Asian lady approached us. She was young, beautiful, and appeared to be several months pregnant. She had a little boy about 18months old that she was running after. She didn’t say anything, but I noticed her looking at Theo. It’s like she was trying to connect the dots between us. She smiled at me as I could tell she wanted to ask but didn’t. Eventually, I asked her where she was from and she said China. She responded and asked if he was “my boy” and I smiled and said yes. It always brings me joy to call him “my boy”. As we continued making small talk I asked her what Province she was from. Her eyes got big. Probably because most white people don’t ever ask where in China… because most white people don’t know much more than cities like Beijing and Shanghai. She said the Shandong province. I smiled and said that is where “my boy” is from. She got very excited… really. I told her “yes, he is from Jinan”. She got even more excited. “That is where my brother lives”.
I couldn’t believe it! What are the chances this city in China would be a common denominator in our lives? We probably talked for the next half hour about many things, but at the end of the conversation I took a leap of faith and started to tell her about the family who found him, the letter I sent to the “QQ” address. I am not sure why I told her. We really didn’t talk much about adoption or Theo’s story at all during our conversation up to this point. It was like the Holy Spirit was doing the talking for me. She looked at me point blank and said, “We don’t use ‘QQ’ anymore in China”. She was so confident in her answer that my heart sank. I said “really?”. She proceeded to tell me that they change communication frequently due to websites being blocked. “We use WEE-CHAT now”.
After hearing this it brought me joy to know that the family might not be ignoring my email after all, they just never got it! That very moment my heart sank for a 2nd time as I felt sorrow that I may never find this couple again. Theo would never know his finding story.
The lady at the park is named Vivian. Vivian and I exchanged contact information and went on our way. She told me to send her a picture of the hand written “QQ” information I had from the family and she would try and search for them on WEE-CHAT.
It must have been around 3pm when I sent Vivian a text with the family’s information in it. By 9pm that night Vivian text me with news that took my breath away. As tears streamed down my face, I read the following text:
“I contacted them and they are so excited to know the news about Theo! The man said he often think about the baby and wants to know if he is good now. I told him that the boy is perfectly healthy and strong, and you guys are taking good care about him. He is so thankful to you guys and would love to see Theo's photos and he said he missed Theo so much! I told him to add my wechat, so we can contact in the future.”
For those of you that know me, by 11pm that same night, I had my own WEE-CHAT account and was instant messaging the family directly. We exchanged pictures and warm regards. After finally seeing the photos of Theo and reading our initial letter, they sent us a letter the next day addressed to Theo. I will not share all of it but here are a few lines which don’t translate perfectly but you will get the picture:
“Now we are a family of three and run the little restaurant, every day busy but we are very fulfilling, our eldest son now admitted to a good high school, but two weeks to go home once. We almost think of you every day, people often talk about you, that you are very lucky to have a pair so love your father and mother, in the United States take very good care.”
While I know Theo doesn’t fully understand the miracles that continue to happen in his life and he would just prefer “another cheese stick please”, John and I look forward to telling him his story some day. The full story. The good, the bad, the hard, the redeemed, all of it! Because as much as I sometimes feel it is my story…it is not. It is his. And I will do everything in my power to give him truth. As much truth as I can find. I wish I could tell you we have found his birth family, but we have not. Maybe we never will, and maybe some day he will decide not to look. But something deep inside of me feels like they know he is safe, he is loved and maybe, just maybe those pictures of Theo made it to the market place where they will one day see his face and be able to know that their child is loved.
From a random park encounter to talking directly with the family in less than 12 hours. And while their are still lots of unanswered questions… I can rest now, knowing that we found them…AGAIN…and I can assure you, this time, we won't lose contact!
